When to Phone it In: Defining Career Moments

It's been said enough times to make it a cliche that life is full of defining moments that alter the course of one's life. I think this week might have held one of those defining, life-altering moments for me. If you've read anything on my blog, or at the very least, my profile, you know I am a copy editor. You know I love books and you know I want to make a career in book publishing. I've done that so far. Or at least until about 4-6 months ago when my work dropped off dramatically. I'm a freelancer, and that's the name of the game -- there are ups and downs, busy seasons and slow seasons. And then there are seasons like this one, when I can't even call myself a freelancer. I'm just unemployed.

So what is a girl to do? Tomorrow is my 25th birthday. I've been freaking out about it since my 24th birthday. Maybe that was just a premonition that as of tomorrow, I'd feel like a failure. I had a pretty vulnerable conversation yesterday with an extremely close friend about the current state of my professional life. I'm not a crier. Like, really. I've cried in front of friends, maybe, MAYBE 5 times in my entire life, and yesterday was one of those times. Well, it was like a well-up, lip-quiver, maybe not really a cry. Whatever. But I explained that I've loved working from home. I love being a freelancer. I do not thrive in an 8-5 atmosphere. But I also don't thrive when I don't feel like I'm contributing in any way financially at home. Or creatively. Yes, I'm a major sounding board for Elliott, my husband, but lately I've felt like I have nothing that's mine. I feel very peripheral.

I don't think I'm done being an editor, but I have to face it: my industry is not in LA. What is here is showbusiness, and that is a true love I do have. The two loves in my life really have always been showbusiness and books. I think it was my talent that made me go for books, but also my insecurities. Elliott is such a star that I think I became comfortable helping him grow brighter than pushing myself. That is something I will never stop doing, but I think it's time for me to go for it, too. I think it's time for me to phone in editing, at least as a lifetime aspiration. Maybe my world is in showbusiness. On the back end, behind the camera at the very least.

And perhaps I should be thankful for tomorrow, my quarter-life birthday. I do think I've experienced one of those instances that might change the course of my life. And I thank Elliott so much for pushing me to pursue it. May God bless year 25, and Elliott and my friends for helping me to not be afraid.

Playing Catch Up

Wow. I've had so much book-related stuff in my head the last several months, I've been too intimidated to even start blogging about it. Where to start?

My New Year's resolution for 2010 is to read 25 books. I'm not doing too shabby so far. Up to this point I've read:

Hoot
In Her Shoes
Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

I've started:

The Skinny
The Secret to Life Transformation
Replacing Dad

I'm currently reading:

The yet-to-be-named first published book by my husband. Or yet-to-be-published book, I should say. That's right! Elliott is going to be a published author! It's hard to believe when I write it out like that. He's writing a commissioned book from the publisher of Wild Onion Press, an amazing newer independent publisher that releases books that features kids with physical differences. Elliott's book is about a computer/science-smart teenage boy who happens to be a paraplegic. It's an adventurous barrier breaker with mass appeal, but also speaks to the day-to-day hurdles a teenager who is "different" faces . . . and the journey his friends take in learning he's not so different at all.

More to come, blogosphere. It's good to be back.