When to Phone it In: Defining Career Moments

It's been said enough times to make it a cliche that life is full of defining moments that alter the course of one's life. I think this week might have held one of those defining, life-altering moments for me. If you've read anything on my blog, or at the very least, my profile, you know I am a copy editor. You know I love books and you know I want to make a career in book publishing. I've done that so far. Or at least until about 4-6 months ago when my work dropped off dramatically. I'm a freelancer, and that's the name of the game -- there are ups and downs, busy seasons and slow seasons. And then there are seasons like this one, when I can't even call myself a freelancer. I'm just unemployed.

So what is a girl to do? Tomorrow is my 25th birthday. I've been freaking out about it since my 24th birthday. Maybe that was just a premonition that as of tomorrow, I'd feel like a failure. I had a pretty vulnerable conversation yesterday with an extremely close friend about the current state of my professional life. I'm not a crier. Like, really. I've cried in front of friends, maybe, MAYBE 5 times in my entire life, and yesterday was one of those times. Well, it was like a well-up, lip-quiver, maybe not really a cry. Whatever. But I explained that I've loved working from home. I love being a freelancer. I do not thrive in an 8-5 atmosphere. But I also don't thrive when I don't feel like I'm contributing in any way financially at home. Or creatively. Yes, I'm a major sounding board for Elliott, my husband, but lately I've felt like I have nothing that's mine. I feel very peripheral.

I don't think I'm done being an editor, but I have to face it: my industry is not in LA. What is here is showbusiness, and that is a true love I do have. The two loves in my life really have always been showbusiness and books. I think it was my talent that made me go for books, but also my insecurities. Elliott is such a star that I think I became comfortable helping him grow brighter than pushing myself. That is something I will never stop doing, but I think it's time for me to go for it, too. I think it's time for me to phone in editing, at least as a lifetime aspiration. Maybe my world is in showbusiness. On the back end, behind the camera at the very least.

And perhaps I should be thankful for tomorrow, my quarter-life birthday. I do think I've experienced one of those instances that might change the course of my life. And I thank Elliott so much for pushing me to pursue it. May God bless year 25, and Elliott and my friends for helping me to not be afraid.

Los Angeles book publishers, where are you?

When my husband and I started planning our move to Los Angeles three and a half years ago, I thought finding work in book publishing out here would be a no-brainer. Major cities host all kinds of major businesses, and while print book publishing may be on the decline, book publishing itself is not.

While still living in Gainesville, FL, I started researching potential companies I might like to work for like the uber-professional-and-anally-prepared-for-all-things person I was then. I found a company called Phoenix Books, which published fiction and non-fiction titles, many of which were written by Hollywood celebs and well-to-dos. Now, THIS was a company I could see myself with. After calling, e-mailing, and sending my resume and several cover letters, I scored a Skype interview with Kimberly Miletta, the newly named vice-president of Phoenix. It was scheduled for my 23rd birthday (unbeknownst to Ms. Miletta), February 22, 2010, at 2:00 p.m. That day, I went to work as usual at Maupin House, but I took some personal time halfway through the day to rush home for my appointment. I had tested my computer's camera, got the lighting in my home office just right, made sure my dog, Gilligan, was occupied with something so he wouldn't bark during this oh-so-important conversation, and I still had 15 minutes to spare.

At 1:58, my phone rang. Caller: Phoenix Books. It was Ms. Miletta's assistant asking if we could reschedule for April or May, closer to the date when I would be relocating to LA. She knew we were planning to move here in July. All the breath rushed out of me. "Yes, of course," I heard myself say. "I'll make sure to call back at that time, and we'll set up another interview."

After working myself up so much and being as prepared as I possibly could be for this interview, I could only describe myself as heartbroken that day. Although the woman on the phone insisted they would still like to interview me, I just felt hopeless, like that interview would never actually come. And it didn't.

On April 26, 2010, Phoenix shut down without warning (I have no idea why its website never did). Here is the story Publishers Weekly released at the time. I was at the International Reading Association conference in Chicago with my company that weekend, and my boss broke the news to me. She had read online about the abrupt closing while we were working our booth, and knowing I had my sights set on Phoenix for once we moved out, she told me right away. I just couldn't believe it. I remember asking if it might be another company with a similar name. But she was right. It was the Phoenix Books, the only publisher I truly wanted to work for (and one of the only ones I even knew about) in LA.

With this knowledge in hand, I used my break time at the IRA conference to visit other publishers' booths in the exhibition hall. I met with Teacher Created Materials and Shell Educational Publishing, as well as Creative Teaching Press and Pacific Learning, which are all located in Huntington Beach. I interviewed with nearly all of them over the phone in the coming weeks, not only for editorial positions, but also for marketing roles. I was so excited! Even though educational publishing is not the niche I would like to be in long term, I had learned so much at Maupin House during my time there, and I do so very much enjoy any work with any books.

All of these publishers are in Huntington Beach, a mere 35-40 miles south of LA. In Florida time, 35-40 miles equals 35-40 minutes. I thought this might be workable! But I found I was sorely wrong after doing more research. LA travel times can't even really be quantified. We were moving out here specifically for Elliott's career goals, and it didn't make sense for us to live so far south (time wise) of the city Elliott was going to be spending most of his time in. I turned down all the job offers I received.

Thankfully, since we've lived in LA, I have gotten on as a freelance proofreader with Teacher Created Materials and Shell, but I haven't been able to accept many jobs from them because of the pay grade for freelancers. And I have found nearly no actual book publisher in Los Angeles itself. Huntington Beach? Sure. Thousand Oaks? Of course. But LA book publishers, where are you?